It’s not about being rude, demanding, or loud, but more about maintaining a personal constitution that guides her through difficulties and shines a light of inspiration so bright that others can’t help but want to follow in her footsteps.
If you have ever watched a smart, powerful woman walk into the room and hold her own with class, grace and style — you know, the effect a "boss bitch" can a can have on those around her (yes, grace, style and bitch were all used in that sentence)? It’s not about being rude, demanding, or loud, but more about maintaining a personal constitution that guides her through difficulties and shines a light of inspiration so bright that others can’t help but want to follow in her footsteps. Here, we share eight common traits of women in control. How many do you hold?
1. They decide to be strong.
In this life, there isn’t a one among us who will not experience fear, anxiety, insecurity, and all kinds of other “negative” emotions that can — and will — tear us down if we allow them to. Strong women have chosen to make the powerful decision to fully commit to themselves for the long haul, come what may. They truly embrace the idea that they will never give anything (or anyone) the power to break them.
2. They know what they stand for.
Living in sync with your value system is commendable — don't allow anyone else to convince you otherwise. Problems arise when you don’t actually know what your values are. Strong women take the time to pay attention to what matters most to them while also doing temperature checks every so often to make sure they’re not holding onto ideals and values that no longer fit their life, which can turn "honorable" into inflexible and limiting.
3. They have a deep and meaningful faith in their ability to survive.
While it’s not always easy to “keep the faith” in tough times, strong women remind themselves of all of the trials, tribulations, and traumas they've faced, moved through, and learned from in the past. They see the fact that they're still standing and finding reasons to smile as all the evidence they need to know they'll be more than just OK, but also wiser and stronger after they move through whatever hurdle they're faced with.
4. They don't force it.
While it may hurt to let something or someone move on, strong women know the tighter you clasp onto something, the harder it will pull away. It's for this reason they live authentically in their own space and allow what's meant for them (and worthy of their time and attention) to come in and stay on its own. This is why when something ends, you won’t find them running after it or trying to convince another party to stick around. It doesn’t mean they don’t hurt or feel disappointed; they just accept these feelings as a part of the grieving process.
5. They invest in themselves.
Whether it’s learning something new, putting more effort into their wardrobe, pushing themselves to go to the gym to be healthy, or taking that big step and going to therapy, these women know that investments they make for themselves and their life offers guaranteed dividends. They try to do something each and every day to push themselves forward, even if it's simply reading up on what’s happening in the world, brainstorming with a creative colleague or learning a new word.
6. They learn to let go of relationships that are not working.
While all relationships take work, strong women don’t look for ways to prove their resiliency in them. They know there’s a solid difference between writing-a-book-hard and carrying-bricks-in-the-hot-sun hard. They know it’s not always easy to let go of toxic relationships (especially if you've invested a lot of time in them), but sipping poison every day will slowly kill their chances of living their best lives, and that’s not something they're willing to sacrifice.
7. They don't confuse strong with mean.
True strength does not always show itself through a force of power, and strong women know this. They treat those around them like valuable human beings while showing compassion, listening intently, and offering support when needed.
8. They know their worth — and honor it.
Strong women don’t always feel beautiful, smart, charming, interesting, or even lovable, but they know that their very essence has intrinsic value. They know what they're willing to give, what they're working toward and what they offer the world. When they find themselves in a situation with someone who devalues that, they're the first to draw a line in the sand.
This article first appeared on Your Tango.
Also from Your Tango:
20 Ways To Be Good To Yourself Today
